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 | Subject: Responsibility to One's Family By Sheikh Salman al-'Awdah  Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:34 pm | |
|  In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful
By Sheikh Salman al-'Awdah
Islam stresses mutual responsibility between family members,
making it the solid foundation that protects the family from collapsing
or splitting apart.
This responsibility starts with the husband
and wife. They have a shared responsibility to carry out the obligations
and duties of family life in the manner that Allah has made each of
them naturally disposed to carry out. Allah’s Messenger (may the peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “A man is a guardian over
his household and he is responsible for those in his care. A woman is a
guardian over her husband’s household and she is responsible for those
in her care.”
Household responsibilities are divided between
the man and the woman in a way that guarantees the material and
spiritual foundations of the family. Allah addresses the men and women
who run their homes with the following words:
“O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones.”
This protection cannot happen except if the truth is made clear and
proper education is provided that clearly shows the way to
righteousness. The husband and wife share the responsibility for the
education and cultural development of the family. Whenever either one of
them finds the other negligent in these duties, he or she must bring
this to the other’s attention and call the other to what is right.
Allah says:
“The believing men and women are protectors of one another; they enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.” Islam encourages the cultivation of love and affection between the man and woman in their marital life. Allah says:
“And from His signs is that he
created for you mates from amongst yourselves to find comfort in and he
placed between you affection and mercy.” Islam has established a number of principles to bring this about:
A. Preserving the rights of the husband and wife: Allah says:
"And they (the women) have rights (over their husbands) similar to (their husbands’) rights over them.”
B. Choosing a good marriage partner: The family unit is where
children are brought up. It is imperative that this unit is established
on a correct foundation. Allah’s Messenger (may the peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said: “A woman is married for four reasons: for
her wealth, her status, her beauty, or her religion. Marry the
religious one or your hands will be covered with dust.”
With respect to what a woman should seek in a husband, Allah’s Messenger said: “If
a man whose religion and conduct pleases you approaches you (to marry
from your family), then let him marry. If you do not do so, then there
will be a lot of mischief and moral degradation in the land.”
Allah says:
“Do not marry the idolatrous women
until they believe. A believing slave girl is better than an idolatress,
even if she pleases you. And do not marry your women to the idolaters
until they believe. A believing slave is better than an idolater, even
if he pleases you. They call to the Fire, and Allah calls to Paradise
and forgiveness by His leave, and He makes His signs clear to mankind so
perhaps they might take heed.”
C. Good conduct between the husband and wife: Islam encourages
good conduct between the husband and wife. This is established in the
texts of the Qur’ân and Sunnah. Allah says:
“Live with them on good terms.”
Allah says:
“Retain them on good terms or release them on good terms.”
Allah’s Messenger (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The
believers who have the most perfect faith are the best in conduct and
the best men among you are the ones who are best to their wives.”
Allah’s
Messenger (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was the
best in treating his wives and was the kindest and most gentle husband.
He
used to joke with them and help out with the housework. He was very
forgiving and tolerant. Allah’s Messenger (may the peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said: “The best among you is the one who treats his family the best, and I am the one who treats his family the best.”
D. Providing for one’s family:
Wealth is necessary to provide for the material needs of life. Since,
the husband is responsible for his wife, he is responsible to provide
for her. Allah says:
“Let the wealthy man spend
according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let
him spend from according to what Allah has given him. Allah does not put
a burden on a person greater than what He has given him. Allah will
grant, after hardship, ease.” Islam has made
maintenance of the wife obligatory upon the husband. Even if he has
divorced her, he must provide for her maintenance and housing for the
full waiting period that the woman must wait – to ascertain whether she
is pregnant – before she is allowed to marry another. Likewise, he must
provide for the child’s nursing if the divorced woman has a child from
him. Allah says:
“Lodge them where you dwell,
according to your means, and do not harm them to make their lives
difficult (so they will be forced to leave your house). And if they are
pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth. Then if they nurse
the children for you, then give them their due payment, and let each of
you accept the advice of the other in a just way. If you make
difficulties for one another, then some other woman may nurse for him.”
E. Caring for and raising children: Islam stresses the right
of small children to be cared for and properly brought up, making it the
most important duty of the parents. Islam does not consider it
sufficient to rely on the parents’ natural inclinations. It reinforces
these instincts with specific regulations that guarantee that the
children will receive a proper upbringing and enjoy all of their rights.
From the time of birth, the sacred texts discuss completing the period of nursing. Allah says:
“The mothers shall nurse their
children for two whole years if they desire to complete the term of
suckling. The father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s
food and clothing on a reasonable basis.” The right of proper upbringing is also clearly stated. Allah says:
“O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from the Fire.”
Allah’s Messenger (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Order
your children to pray when they are seven years old, and when they
become ten, beat them if they fail to do so and separate their sleeping
quarters.”
Courtesy Of: IslamToday.net
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