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 | Subject: The Qur'aan and Sunnah on Parents By Imam an-Nawawi  Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:30 pm | |
|  In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful
By Imam an-Nawawi
From Riyadhus-Saaliheen
Compiled By Al-Imaam Abu Zakariyyah Yahya Bin Sharaf An-Nawawi Ad-Dimashqi Ashaafi'ee (rahimahullah)
Commentary By Hafiz Salahuddin Yusuf of Alharamain Foundation
KIND TREATMENT TOWARDS PARENTS AND ESTABLISHMENT OF THE TIES OF BLOOD RELATIONSHIP
Allah,
the Exalted, says: "Worship Allah and join none with Him (in worship);
and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masakin (the poor), the
neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the
companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom
your right hands possess". (4:36)
"And fear Allah through Whom
you demand (your mutual rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the
wombs (kinship)". (4:1) "And those who join that which Allah has
commanded to be joined (i.e., they are good to their relatives and do
not sever the bond of kinship)". (13:21)
"And we have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents". (29:
"And
your Rubb has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be
dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age
in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them
but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of
submission and humility through mercy, and say: `My Rubb! Bestow on them
Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young". (17:23,24)
"And
We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His
mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and
his weaning is in two years- give thanks to Me and to your parents".
(31:14)
312. `Abdullah bin Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with
him) reported: I asked the Prophet (PBUH) , "Which of the deeds is loved
most by Allah?'' Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Salat at its proper
time.'' I asked, ``What next?'' He (PBUH) replied, ``Kindness to
parents.'' I asked, ``What next?'' He replied, ``Jihad in the way of
Allah.'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: Performance of
Salat at the stated time means its performance in earliest prescribed or
at least its regularity. One should not give preference to mundane
affairs over it. Salat and Jihad are the two most meritorious duties of a
Muslim. When nice treatment to parents is mentioned along with Salat
and Jihad, it gives further importance to this injunction.
313.
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said, "No son can repay (the kindness shown by his father)
unless he finds him a slave and buys him and emancipates him". [Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith also brings out the eminence of parents and outstanding importance of their rights.
316.
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A person came to
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and asked, "Who among people is most
deserving of my fine treatment?'' He (PBUH) said, "Your mother". He
again asked, ``Who next?'' "Your mother", the Prophet (PBUH) replied
again. He asked, "Who next?'' He (the Prophet (PBUH)) said again, "Your
mother.'' He again asked, "Then who?'' Thereupon he (PBUH) said,'' Then
your father.''
In another narration: "O Messenger of Allah! Who
is most deserving of my fine treatment?'' He (PBUH) said, "Your mother,
then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then your nearest,
then nearest". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith
tells us that the rights of the mother are three times more important
than that of the father for the reasons that: 1 She is weaker than the
father. 2. The following three troubles are borne exclusively by the
mother while the father does not share them with her: a) She carries the
baby in her womb for nine months, b) The labor pain which she suffers.
c) Two years' period of suckling which disturbs her sleep at night and
affects her health. She has also to be very cautious in her food for the
welfare of the baby.
317. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased
with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "May he be disgraced! May
he be disgraced! May he be disgraced, whose parents, one or both, attain
old age during his life time, and he does not enter Jannah (by
rendering being dutiful to them)". [Muslim].
Commentary: The
word ``Ragham'' means soil. When a person's nose is soiled, it is a mark
of his extreme humiliation. This metaphor carries a curse for an
unfortunate person who does not win the pleasure of Allah by serving and
obeying his parents. In fact, it is a malediction as well as a
prediction of someone's inauspicious end. Service of parents is
essential at every stage of their life - whether they are young or old.
But this Hadith mentions their old age for the reason that in that
period of their life they stand in greater need of care and service. It
is a very callous offense to leave them at the mercy of circumstances
when they are old, senile and depend on others for their needs. To
neglect them at that stage is a major sin for which one deserves
Hell-fire.
318. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him)
reported: A man said to Messenger of Allah (PBUH): "I have relatives
with whom I try to keep the ties of relationship but they sever
relations with me; and whom I treat kindly but they treat me badly, I am
gentle with them but they are rough to me.'' He (PBUH) replied, "If you
are as you say, it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes, and you
will be with a supporter against them from Allah as long as you continue
to do so". [Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith has three
important lessons: First, the misbehaviour of one's relative is no
justification for the misbehaviour of another, let alone the severing of
relations on that account. Second, the person who treats his relatives
nicely in all events and circumstances is blessed by Allah Who will send
from heaven helpers to support him. Third, the consequence of denying
compassion and kindness to relatives is as woeful as the eating of hot
ashes.
319. Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "He who desires ample provisions and his
life be prolonged, should maintain good ties with his blood relations".
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: One who is benevolent and
compassionate towards one's own relatives, stands to gain at least two
definite advantages in this world besides the reward in the next. These
two advantages are the increase in his subsistence and longevity of
life. Increase in subsistence means that Almighty Allah will increase
the quantity of his worldly goods or his means of subsistence will be
blessed by Him. Similar is the case of longevity of life. The life of
such person is either actually increased (in terms of years) or his life
is graced with the Blessings of Allah. Both interpretations are
correct.
321. `Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`as (May Allah be
pleased with them) reported: A man came to the Prophet (PBUH) of Allah
and said, "I swear allegiance to you for emigration and Jihad, seeking
reward from Allah.'' He (PBUH) said, "Are either of your parents
alive?'' He said, "Yes, both of them are alive.'' He (PBUH) then asked,
"Do you want to seek reward from Allah?'' He replied in the affirmative.
Thereupon Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Go back to your parents and
keep good company with them". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
In
another narration it is reported that a person came to Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) and sought his permission to participate in Jihad. The
Prophet (PBUH) asked, "Are your parents alive?'' He replied in the
affirmative. The Prophet (PBUH) said, "(You should) consider their
service as Jihad.''
Commentary: Under normal circumstances,
Jihad is Fard Kifayah (collective duty -- which means that if some
people observe it, the rest of the Muslims will be exempted from its
obligation). In such circumstances permission of parents to participate
in Jihad is necessary because their service is Fard-ul-`ain (individual
duty -- an injunction or ordinance, the obligation of which extends to
every Muslim in person), and the former cannot be preferred to the
latter. This Hadith explains such a situation. In certain circumstances,
however, Jihad becomes Fard-ul-`ain and in that case permission of the
parents to take part in Jihad is not essential because then every Muslim
is duty-bound to take part in it.
322. `Abdullah bin `Amr
Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH)
said, "The person who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not the
one who does it because he gets recompensed by his relatives (for being
kind and good to them), but the one who truly maintains the bonds of
kinship is the one who persists in doing so even though the latter has
severed the ties of kinship with him". [Al-Bukhari].
Commentary:
This Hadith makes clear the essentials of kindness to relatives. Those
kinsmen who respect and honour you, would obviously be treated by you
fairly. It goes without saying that people usually reciprocate
sentiments showed to them. But this is not maintaining the ties of
kinship but kindness for kindness. On the opposite side, there is a
kinsman who is rough and rude and is always bent upon severing relation
with you, but you tolerate his excesses with patience and perseverance,
return his harshness with politeness, maintain relationship with him in
spite of all his efforts to break it, then what you are exercising is
maintaining the ties of kinship. This is what Islam actually demands
from a Muslim. But this is the excellence of Faith which one must try to
attain. There is nothing remarkable in exchanging dry smiles.
325.
Asma' bint Abu Bakr As-Siddiq (May Allah be pleased with her) said: My
mother came to me while she was still a polytheist, so I asked Messenger
of Allah (PBUH), "My mother, who is ill-disposed to Islam, has come to
visit me. Shall I maintain relations with her?'' He (PBUH) replied,
"Yes, maintain relations with your mother". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary:
The woman mentioned in this Hadith had come from Makkah to Al-Madinah.
What this Hadith signifies is that it is essential to be kind to parents
even if they are Mushrikun (polytheists) and Kuffar (disbelievers).
This has also been clearly ordained in the Noble Qur'an: ``... but
behave with them in the world kindly". (31:15).
333. Ibn `Umar
(May Allah be pleased with them) reported: I had a wife whom I loved but
`Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) disliked her. He asked me to
divorce her and when I refused, `Umar (May Allah be pleased with him)
went to Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and mentioned the matter to him. The
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked me to divorce her. [At-Tirmidhi and Abu
Dawud].
Commentary: If parents' order to divorce one's wife is
based on the principles of Shari`ah and morality, it must be obeyed, as
is evident from this Hadith. If their order is founded on other factors,
then one should try to convince them politely so that they agree with
one's view on the issue. Here Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with him)
loved his wife for love's sake, but his father `Umar bin Khattab (May
Allah be pleased with him) disliked her basing his decision on religious
grounds. This is why the Prophet (PBUH) ordered Ibn `Umar to obey his
father.
334. Abud-Darda' (May Allah be pleased with him)
reported: A man came to me and said, "I have a wife whom my mother
commands me to divorce". I replied him that I had heard Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) saying, "A parent is the best of the gates of Jannah; so if
you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it.'' [At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah].
Commentary:
The word "Walid,'' applies to mother as well as father. As the word
"Walidain'' is a dual form and covers mother and father both; similarly
the noun "father'', also applies to both. This Hadith also stresses that
obedience of parents and submission to their order must have preference
over the love for the wife as long as this order of theirs is fair and
just.
335. Al-Bara' bin `Azib (May Allah be pleased with them)
reported: I heard the Prophet (PBUH) saying: "A mother's sister is
equivalent to (real) mother (in status)". [At-Tirmidhi]
Commentary:
This Hadith tells us that one should be as respectful to one's aunt
(mother's real sister) as one is to mother, as it is a virtue as well as
"a form of maintaining the ties of kinship".
CHAPTER 41 PROHIBITION OF DISOBEYING PARENTS AND SEVERANCE OF RELATIONS
Allah,
the Exalted, says: "Would you then, if you were given the authority, do
mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they
whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their
sight.'' (47:22,23)
"And those who break the Covenant of Allah,
after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be
joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their
relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e.,
they will be far away from Allah's Mercy), and for them is the unhappy
(evil) home (i.e., Hell).'' (13:25)
"And your Rubb has decreed
that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.
If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to
them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms
of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility
through mercy, and say: `My Rubb! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did
bring me up when I was young.''' (17:23,24)
336. Abu Bakrah
Nufai` bin Al-Harith (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Shall I not inform you of the biggest
of the major sins?'' The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked this question
thrice. We said, "Yes, O Messenger of Allah. (Please inform us.)". He
said, "Ascribing partners to Allah, and to be undutiful to your
parents". The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) sat up from his reclining
position and said, "And I warn you against giving forged statement and a
false testimony; I warn you against giving forged statement and a false
testimony". The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) kept on repeating that
warning till we wished he would stop. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary:
This Hadith mentions some of the major sins. A major sin is one against
which there is a serious warning in the Noble Qur'an and Hadith. When
disobedience to parents is mentioned along with Shirk (polytheism), it
makes the fact evident that both of these are very serious sins. Similar
is the case of telling a lie and false testimony, which in the incident
mentioned in this Hadith made Messenger of Allah (PBUH) to leave his
pillow and sit attentively. It indicates that the latter two are
serious. May Allah protect all Muslims from all such sins. 3
37.
Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported:
The Prophet (PBUH) said, "(Of the) major sins are: to ascribe partners
to Allah, disobey parents, murder someone, and to take a false oath
(intentionally)". [Al-Bukhari].
Commentary: There are many more
major sins which have been enlisted and discussed at length by
Muhaddathun in independent volumes, such as Az-Zawajir `an
iqtraf-al-Kaba'ir, Kitab-al-Kaba'ir by Adh-Dhahabi. This Hadith mentions
some of the major sins enumerated by the Prophet (PBUH) on a particular
occasion. We can also say that the sins mentioned here are some of the
most serious among the major sins.
338. `Abdullah bin `Amr bin
Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Messenger of Allah
(PBUH) said, "It is one of the gravest sins to abuse one's parents.''
It was asked (by the people): "O Messenger of Allah, can a man abuse his
own parents?'' The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "He abuses the
father of somebody who, in return, abuses the former's father; he then
abuses the mother of somebody who, in return, abuses his mother".
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Another narration is: The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said, "One of the major sins is to curse one's parents". It
was submitted: "O Messenger of Allah! How can a man curse his own
parents?'' He (PBUH) said, "When someone curses the parents of another
man who in return abuses the former's father; and when someone abuses
the mother of another man who in return abuses his mother.''
Commentary:
We learn from this Hadith that one should not abuse anyone's parents,
because in the event, he is paid in the same coin, he will be
responsible for disgracing his own parents.
340. Abu 'Isa
Al-Mughirah bin Shu`bah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The
Prophet (PBUH) said, "Allah has forbidden you: disobedience to your
mothers, to withhold (what you should give), or demand (what you do not
deserve), and to bury your daughters alive. And Allah dislikes idle
talk, to ask too many questions (for things which will be of no benefit
to one), and to waste your wealth". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Allahu A3lam | |
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